Labels on consumer goods

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods.

On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

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On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

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On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

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On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

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On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.

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On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.

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On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.

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On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

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On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.

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On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children.

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On a string of Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

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On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.

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On Sainsbury’s peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.

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On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

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On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

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On a child’s Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.