Some old some new…

52 things you would love to say out loud at work - and may probably have!!
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of sh*t.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I [...]

My internal medicine doctor got me a referral to a urologist.
I went yesterday. Holy Crap, she’s beautiful and unbelievably sexy!
She told me that I have to stop masturbating.
I asked her why.
She said, "Because I am trying to examine you."

Now that’s sexist, I know, but is still funny.

A CORK radio station was running a competition - words that weren’t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: “96FM here, what’s your name?” Caller: “Hi, me name’s Dave.”
DJ: “Dave, what’s your word?” [...]

Have you ever looked at some one your own age and thought
" I’m glad I don’t look that old"
My name is Mary Lamb, and I was sitting in my new dentists waiting room.
I read all his diplomas, which were hung on the wall, and thought I recognized his name.
Suddenly I remembered a tall, stylish, dark [...]

As gas prices rise so do the jokes about this unfortunate phenomenon..

Believe it or not, these are REAL U.S. 911 Calls!
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, [...]

Two recent court cases, have earned the attention of newspaper readers in South Africa.
1. One person was fined R1.000 for not having a TV license.
2. Another was released on bail for R500 after being arrested for murder.
The moral of this South African story:
If you do not have a TV license and the inspector comes round, [...]

A Polish man moved to the Ireland and married a Cork girl. Although his English was Far from perfect, they got along very well. Until one day he rushed in a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce For him.
The lawyer said getting a divorce would Depend on the circumstances,and asked [...]

What do you call a donkey with one leg? A wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye? A winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin’ love? A bonky winky wonky donkey
What do you call a [...]